i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Duck Duck Cougar?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
