Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
FUCK WHALES
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
