I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
