So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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