My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
