I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
