well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
