I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
