The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
