If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
