Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
