Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
