I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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