yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i came on her dog
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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