I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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