That's when you crack a 10am beer
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
