Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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