I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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