i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
