BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
