LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
