I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
