its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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