Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
