no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
