if you like me you must not know who I am
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
