so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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