Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
