ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize
