Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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