Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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