we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
