I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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