Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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