Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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