Ambien. No doubt about it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
