brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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