So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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