ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I touched a dick in church today
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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