just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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