how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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