Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
