Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
