Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
