Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
