Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
