There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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