I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
