i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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