Will you blow on my dice?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
