The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Randomize
