We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
