I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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