sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
