I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she told me i tasted like america
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Houston, we have a squirter
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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