So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
